


The Road to Hell…

by Sandylee007



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depressed Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s03e19 Aku Cinta Kamu, Heartbreak, M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 14:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18576016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandylee007/pseuds/Sandylee007
Summary: As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And Alec paved Magnus’s well. Broke him in a way even the Prince of Hell could’ve never accomplished.After Alec leaves him Magnus wanders through New York until he can't handle the weight of all the memories anymore. When he breaks down his father is there to pick up the pieces with unreliable hands. And Magnus gives in to Asmodeus's support, because he has nothing left to fight for anymore.





	The Road to Hell…

**Author's Note:**

> 3x19 hurt… like… hell. Especially because Harry’s PHENOMENAL when it comes to portraying Magnus’s vulnerable side. I’m still a bit shaken. (sniffles) And Asmodeus? BEST… VILLAIN… OF… THE… SHOW!
> 
> So, after seeing something like that, of course my head cooked up something angsty. (chuckles)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Yeeeeeah, right… If I did own anything, we’d have 3x20 to watch and offer us relief already. (Because 20 is the magical making up number for Malec, I’m sure of it!)
> 
> WARNINGS: MAGNUS’S HEAD IS IN A REALLY BAD PLACE! So, if you find deep depression triggering, approach with caution. Also, MENTIONS OF PAST PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE. (To me the saddest thing about the current storyline is that right now, Magnus has no one else but his former abuser to lean on.)
> 
> AND LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR. This ISN’T an Alec-negative story! I understand why he did what he did, and can’t say that I wouldn’t have done the same thing. But I don’t think he quite realizes yet how badly he shattered what was still left intact of Magnus. (Again, not his fault!)
> 
> Okay, rant time over. (chuckles) Now, I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride, as emotional as it will be!

/ _“I don’t think I can live without you.”_ /  
/ _“I need a break, from us.”_ /

Hundreds of years old and still so naïve, wasn’t that what Camille once said?

One endless night dawns to a morning. One endless day begins. And Magnus hates himself for being a fool. For trusting. For believing. For hoping.

Alec was the only one who ever wanted to move in with him.

Alec was the only one who ever hinted wanting to start a family with him, one day.

Alec fastened a lock to symbolize that he wanted to love him forever.

(Magnus will never open his heart to anyone again.)

It was Magnus’s mistake, really. He should’ve remembered that nothing really lasts forever in the world of mortals. Even the most beautiful things.

For someone like him nothing good ever lasts, because he seems to ruin everything beautiful he touches.

For a little while Alec promised Magnus everything the warlock hadn’t dared to hope he’d get before, with anyone else. A home. A family. Hope. Eternal love.

Now all those sweet promises have turned to ashes. And Magnus destroys the lock that once symbolized it all. Why keep it in place if it doesn’t mean anything anymore?

Magnus walks, and walks, and walks. Through the night, through the day. Because he has nowhere to go anymore. He’s exhausted and his legs are cramping but he can’t stop. If he stops walking the darkness creeping and growing in his mind will drown him.

Unfortunately he can’t walk away from the memories. And they stab him like actual knives with almost every single step. Breaking him, killing him. 

Magnus begs to have them all erased. Tries to get rid of them on his own. But it seems he’s stuck with the agony for the rest of his once again immortal life.

He’s never felt so lost, raw, abandoned and betrayed in his entire life, and the familiar magic coursing under his skin does little to dull the pain.

“I’m here for you, my son.”

His father is there. A man he’s feared and despised. A man he absolutely shouldn’t trust. And he doesn’t.

But unlike all the others who have lied that they care about him, Asmodeus is there. He wants Magnus in his life, even if it’s with ulterior motives he definitely has. And the warlock, who the evening before had his heart ripped out of his chest, is so starved for someone to actually want him that he yields.

Magnus steps into his father’s arms. Too exhausted and achy to resist their pull, despite how badly they’ve hurt him, despite all the years of abuse and manipulation in the past. Because if he wouldn’t have chosen the monster’s embrace, his steps would’ve taken him down the rooftop.

Magnus knows that he’s on the road to hell. It doesn’t scare him. He’s spent long enough in hell to know that it isn’t worse than what he’s suffering through right now.

With tears and sobs the last of his fight leaves Magnus, because he has nothing left to fight for anymore.

/

Asmodeus holds his son as the warlock crumbles in his arms. Emotionally and physically. He feels all his son’s pain, sorrow and defeat.

As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And Alec paved Magnus’s well. Broke his son in a way even the Prince of Hell could’ve never accomplished.

Asmodeus knows that he’s won, and figures that he owes the Shadowhunter a thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> So… Yeah. Ouch.
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my day.
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for reading this angsty little piece! And… Maybe I’ll see you again one day?
> 
> Take care!


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